Bonus: When Life Feels Heavy

I would start a talking with you and I can't make a five. Hey y'all. Can I can I just be honest with y'all for a second? Of course I can. I mean, there's no one actually here. You're just possibly listening to this in your headphones on your way to drop your kid off, or picking your kid up, or maybe you're heading off to work. Who knows? You're doing something. Just like I am currently on my way to go pick up my son from school, trying to get there on time. Y'all, oh do y'all feel heavy? Like when you're when you're in the midst of motherhood, when you're raising small kids, you know, before they start getting older and more independent and doing things for themselves and relying on you less, does it feel heavy to you? And when you have multiple children, does that make the weight even harder to bear? And then when you have one or multiple children who have special needs, does that add to the weight as well? I'm just kind of talking out loud a bit, to be honest. There are days where I wish that I had taken my education more seriously and found a way to finish my degree or my degrees. Wish that I did not have to figure this all out in the middle of raising kids. Because right now they really need me. This this time in their life, they need me the most. Especially my boys who are who were recently diagnosed with autism. Two of my boys were just last year diagnosed with different levels of autism. And ever since the diagnoses or diagnoses, ever since both of their diagnosis, we're just gonna call it both of their diagnosis. Ever since then, I've been trying to navigate how to parent, how to approach parenting, how to manage the really rough days. Because again, it shows up differently in both of them. So I have to approach things nearly differently, like completely different tactics and methods with both kids. You know? Taking care of myself, like bare minimum needs remembering to eat. If it feels like it can wait. And the ones that I'm still holding, I'm just barely keeping a hold of. I'm not even trying to juggle them. I'm just trying to hold them. And even that feels just barely manageable. Trying to find time for my business, trying to work, trying to be a mom, trying to be a wife. It's so exhausting. And it feels like I'm just failing in every single area. And I keep praying and I keep asking God, what am I supposed to be doing? You know, I'm more so I've more so been trying to figure out what I should be doing career-wise. Because I know there are seasons where you know you have that nine-to-five job. Sometimes you're making an impact there on somebody, whether you realize it or not, and that's where God has placed you, or He placed you there in order to fund the business that He wants you to start. And then sometimes He just tells you, Hey, go all, go all in and do it because I got you. And don't get me wrong, either path, yes, I know if you're familiar with scripture, all things, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. If you're a believer, if you're not, completely disregard that. It's fine. Also, being a believer is wanting to make sure that I am still in line with his will, making sure that I'm doing the things that he wants me to be doing and not just following my own desires just because I want it. I can't even sit here and lie to you, and I've felt, I have felt like I've been pulled to entrepreneurship and working independently for years. And it has felt like that gap and that pull gets stronger and stronger, and that gap gets shorter and shorter between my options of being able to work a traditional job and have a steady paycheck. And then it just feels like that window of opportunity with scheduling and the demands of my of the season of life that I'm in, it feels like that gap is so minute that it's not even worth pursuing. But the financial pressure is what makes me pause. I won't sit here and pretend like I'm not terrified to just all of a sudden say, you know what? I'm gonna stop working and I'm gonna go all in on my business. I'm gonna get my website together, I'm going to get my marketing together, and I'm gonna do all these things, and I'm going all in. I'm done driving for Lyft, I'm done driving and delivering for Instacart, I'm done. The question I have to ask myself now is when I know I can do all things through Christ, why am I so terrified of doing this one thing that would require me to have the utmost faith and trust in God and to truly lean on Him? Why does that terrify me? I honestly had a different episode planned this week, but this just felt so heavy, and I figured why not just share it, I guess. Who cares about the audio quality? As long as you can hear me clearly, at this point in time, who cares about the audio quality? Who cares that my mic is at home? I'm on my ear pods, I'm on my phone, it is what it is. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode. And if I could remind you of one thing, is that you are here for a reason and you are destined for greater things. Whatever those things may be, is between you and God. And also it's okay to not be okay. Because for a lot of us, we're not we haven't been okay for a very long time. And that's okay. You just get up and keep going. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Thanks for listening to the Mom Boss Like a Boss podcast. If you have any thoughts on the episode, please feel free to reach out to me on Threads or Instagram. You can find me at the Creative Altruist. All one word, no spaces, underscores, or periods. It'll also be right there in the description. Until next time.